19 things to live for: I am 19!
Hey! Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow would make it 19 years since I came to this world with a mandate: write words that move people’s souls into action.
I once defined communication as one soul acting on the other. That's my mandate. To act on every soul in the world that comes in contact with me and my writings. This writing can span across different genres, but it must always be felt. And for the past two years of my life, I've been doing just that: writing.
Today, I’ll be starting a series of 19 reasons why you should live for each year of the 19 years I’ve spent on this planet. Each reason would either be a story, an essay, or a teaching. It could be anything from psychology, to philosophy, to literature, to life. Anything.
Reason 1: Live for the day you finally get your house
It could be a rented apartment; it could be a house you buy. As long as you got it with your money, it's yours. Live for that day.
In January, 2023, I finally saved enough to get my house. Having left home some 9 months ago, I’ve had to leave with people and couch-hop at a point. There were days I didn’t have any money, and days I wasn’t sure I would ever save enough to get my space. I wanted my space badly as I was tired of staying with people and feeling uncomfortable.
When I started house hunting with a budget, I was worried about not finding the right house. I didn't want to spend above my budget, yet I wanted something I could make into a home. If you've been following my writings for a year now, you'll find that I always mention how hard I'm striving to find a home. So, I wanted a home. My home.
I found a place after a few days and it was perfect. From the moment I walked through the door, I knew it was mine. My baby. There might be bad days, and very bad days, but it was going to be mine. I was going to make it mine. I was going to own it.
The day I paid for the house, my then boyfriend told me congratulations. I thought he was being so extra back then, but I realized along the way that I never really stopped to tell myself well-done. I never said congratulations to myself for bagging a house. At 18! With the money I worked hard for! Not one penny of that money was given to me for free. And I couldn't even tell myself a well-done. SMH.
For someone who has battled nightmares and insomnia for years, the first night I slept in my house, I slept like a baby. With no nightmares. Subsequently, my eating and sleeping pattern changed and I started to add flesh in all the right places.
A year ago, I wanted to die. There was no point living. I was staying with a work colleague in her cramped apartment and it made me miss my parents' house where I had a room to myself. Today, I know the feeling of staying in my house and owning it. I know that nothing beats having your space.
So, live. Live for the feeling of having your place (if you don't stay alone, yet), and getting your house (if you stay alone but haven't bought a house, yet).
There's so much beauty in the world, it overshadows the terrible part. And on days you don't know what to choose, choose hope. The good kind. The kind that says this, too, shall pass. Because it shall pass.
Happy birthday, Rachael! I love you.
