Ghosts of who we would have been
1.
"You don't lose a person like a set of keys because you don't get them back."
~ Andrea Gibson
in autumn when the leaves fall
and the crisp, cool air
caresses my cheeks,
I think of you
I think of that last night
how the streetlight
made your tears golden
and how you looked at me
like you wish you had never met me
like I broke you
like I was a lie
a joke you believed
you broke me first
today as I visit the grave
of all we could have been
I wonder how you're doing
I wonder if you lived
but most of all,
I wonder if you think of me
2.
You once told me
the past is all we could
have been
& the future is all
we might not be
your eyes never
left my face as you said it
did you
know
then?
did you know we were
a supernova,
loving on borrowed time?
3.
Tonight, I wake up with a start, calling/
"mum," like a prayer from a dying
soul.
like I could reach to God with it
and ask why
why?
this pain is too much to bear
mum isn't here, you see
mum, like you went away
mum, couldn’t take it anymore
mum, left me
mum mum mum
wait. don't tell me I'm mistaken
say, when you left
did you ever think of me?
did you ever think of how many times
I died without dying
so I could live enough
to tell you I did it?
to tell you I lived
inspite of you?
—
when next you pass me on the sidewalk
don’t ask me how
don’t ask me anything
because you died the day I died
&
we don't do ghosts here
