I wish I never met you
I haven’t always been good
Heck, more times than not,
I wasn’t good
but in all of this
I wish I never met you
I wish
we never made those promises
the laughter,
the peace,
the feeling of the world
slipping by as we stood firm
in our promises to each other
for the first time in my life,
I knew what it felt like
to have a home
in someone
but someone should have told you
that you can’t make a home
out of people
someone should have already told you that
it hurts
so much that I can’t breathe
& sometimes
when I think of you
I smile, then I cry
I loved you;
I still do
but, I wish I never met you
no one deserves
to live with the pain
of failed relationships,
& broken promises
& salty tears
& fear
mostly, fear.
like a battered book,
I carry every one of you
on the base of my spine
& it hurts
it really does
so I hope
that I’m strong enough
to keep going
even when the odds
says no
I hope I’m able
to laugh again
without the emptiness
echoing in my chest
I hope I don’t always
have to cry myself
to sleep every night
more than this,
I hope you’re okay
I hope you are happy
I hope you find a lifeline
that will never ever
let you down
still,
I wish I never met you
because it hurts
it really does
