There's no page two

Rachael Aiyke
2 min readMay 3


Photo by Mathéo Joubert on Unsplash

Page 10.
"Why do you want to kill yourself, miss?"

Oh, shut up. Like there's a general reason.
I say nothing, and stare at the meaning
of the office codes behind him.

If I shout a code blue
when they come for me at night,
will you be there?

"Are you with me? You seem
a little distracted today. Would you like to
talk about what's on your mind?"

Mark would definitely be proud of
this junkie.

Page 12.
"It's been a month and you've not said
a word. You know I can't help you
if you don't speak, right?"


"Can we reschedule until you're ready
to talk?"

Page 13.
"I need you to write on this journal everyday,
until our next session. Is that okay?"

A slight nod. He changed tactics.
I'm impressed, but I'm not writing

"Good. I believe we'll make progress."

Page 1.
I need you to understand that you’re safe.
Okay? No one would hurt you.
I’ll always be here. Always."

"Thank you. I hope you stay; they all leave in the end."

"I won't, I promise."

Page 3.
Diagnosis: Grade 4, ovarian cancer.
Wouldn’t make it through chemotherapy
because of severe diabetes.

I hold her fragile hand in the hospital bed
as machines beep endlessly,
holding off the inevitable.

"You said you'll never leave," I whisper.

Her eyes flickers open, she smiles:
"I'll never leave you, baby.
You have to believe me."

"But you're dying."

A slight shake of head. "I'll always be alive,
for and with you. I'm here."

Page 4.
Woman dies.

Page 5.
Funeral, tears & tributes.

'I am safe' slips through the sand.
You're not safe
from death.

Page 6.
I die.

Not all dead bodies,
come home
in body bags

Page 7.
The sniper feels heavier in my pocket
now that I know I'll do it.
The world would be quiet when you die.
I smile.

Page 8.
I wake up. Again.

Page 14.
I'm going to kill my therapist
so everyone wins in the end.

Happily ever after
means the story never ended.



Rachael Aiyke

Rachael Aiyke is a writer, reader, student of psychology, blogger and poet who believes the world is a canvas and our thoughts, paintbrushes. Let's paint away!